Its on!

Woo hoo! Oscar time!

I have settled into my couch for the next couple of hours so that I can stand in judgement over the celebs who will be tromping (is that a word?) up the red carpet. I'll be posting every few minutes with any observations I have, hope to update them with pictures as I can get them.

First observation - Ryan Seacrest is really annoying. Ooh, he just did a link to Ellen DeGeneres backstage and she looked seriously fed up, clearly annoyed that she was being interrupted while preparing for the show, gave one curt sentence and then rolled her eyes and walked off camera! Eep...that was cringe-worthy.

2307 GMT:I love it when the star who is about to be interviewed has to stand around in the backround while the presenter does a piece to camera, they always look really uncomfortable and in the way until the presenter goes soooo..."James McAvoy is with us". James McAvoy is HOT. Love him. Looking well, but then most guys do in tuxes.

2311 GMT: Maggie Gyllenhall doesn't need to be perfect. And she's a pretty smart girl. Thats according to her. Love how Ryan is completely ignoring Peter Sarsgaard - also love the way he said "Don't worry you are still the most famous person on the red carpet, I haven't seen anyone else I recognize" totally implying that the second he does he's going to shove them out of the way. And in fairness I've seen him and Giuliana do that before, you can totally tell when someone more famous has shown up and trumped their current interviewee.

2319 GMT: Ryan just talked to Michael Sheen who played Tony Blair in The Queen, and then as he walked away he said, "I can't believe it, I feel like he is Tony Blair, oh my God!", um...seriously...has he ever actually SEEN Tony Blair? They look nothing alike.

2322 GMT: Gael Garcia Bernal is BEAUTIFUL. Ryan's entire interview with him is about Brad Pitt. Even though the two never met while making Babel...nice.

2300 GMT:
2323 GMT: Portia Di Rossi looks gorgeous. If I was a lesbian I definitely would.

2327 GMT: Ok, so Ellen was nice during her and Ryan's pre-show chat. Although she said she felt they dressed alike...as my friend just said "eh, shes tellin him he dresses like a lesbian - she hates him." HA!

2328 GMT: Elisabeth Shue looks underdressed - there is something about short dresses for the Oscars that just seem inappropriate.

2331 GMT: There must not be very many people there because they keep showing Jodie Foster - she's wearing lilac and her hair is in a shaggy bob...kind of like someone who has been surfing all day. Bleh. I'm so not into J-Fos.

2336 GMT: Ooh Al Gore is GREY. Tipper's dress is nice but why won't she leave the mid-west soccer mom hair at home?

2327 GMT: WHAT the HELL is Jennifer Hudson wearing???? She's wearing some bland dress with like, gold tinfoil wrapped around her shoulders or something??? AAAAAAAH! JENNIFER! You were doing so well too. Sigh...

2338 GMT: Melissa Etheridge and her partner Tammy Lynn Michaels look ok...lots of lesbians on the red carpet this evening. I can't help but think that Tammy is mean because her character on Popular was so mean...but I'm sure she's lovely.

2339 GMT: J-Lo looks glam, soft 50's housewife hair, she's totally channelling the 50s at the moment. This picture really adds some credibility to those pregnancy rumours though!

2341 GMT: Penelope Cruz looks good in a kind of muted strapless nude gown.

2341 GMT: Interviews with Rinko are always tough, she just doesn't speak English...people need to understand that! But she is gorgeous, and I loved Ryan singing "Come to My Window" to try to explain to her who Melissa Etheridge is!


2342 GMT: Jessica Biel is vile. Will Smith looks great. Emily Blunt looks stunning. JENNIFER HUDSON LOOKS RIDICULOUS.

2344 GMT: Ah...Ryan just asked Emily Blunt and Michael Buble how they were and they said "We're in luuuuuv"...its so refreshing to hear celebs admit that. They seem so normal! Love. It.

2349 GMT OK, totally understated the gorgeousness of Penelope Cruz' dress...really long with gorgeous ruffly train.

2350 GMT: Not loving Cameron Diaz' white dress. The neckline is like...I don't know...a sailor. Hair and earrings are nice. Where is Drew? Would have thought they'd arrive together. Boo.
2351 GMT: Helen Mirren is gorgeous and classy in kind of pale green lace or something.

2352 GMT: Jodie Fosters dress is more mauve than lilac...I stand corrected. Jodie so is not good at talking feminine things, the words dress and earrings sound so foreign coming out of her mouth. Also I hate it when celebs talk about the Oscars being boring and how they leave early...don't they know there are so many people who would love to be there?

2353 GMT: I really wish John Travolta would give up the ghost and stop wearing those horrific toups. Maybe it is some admission of weakness or something in Scientology if you let on you're losing hair.

2355 GMT: Rachel Wiesz looks beautiful in silver satin Vera Wang, not sure about the dark lipstick though...maybe a little too dark.


2356 GMT: Ryan: "Its like hottie after hottie". We're not here to watch you perv Ryan we see enough of that on American Idol.

2357 GMT: Jessica Biel. Meh. Bad crimped hair. Jada Pinkett Smith looks gorgeous, love that mustard colour.

2359 GMT: Ryan Seacrest saying that maybe people didn't see Forrest Whitaker as "that kind of an actor" before his performance in "that movie". Does he even know what movie it is? And what "kind of an actor" is he talking about? Forrest has always been the type of actor he is now! Ryan is a tool.

0001 GMT: Have I mentioned that Jennifer Hudson looks ridiculous? SERIOUSLY...she looks RIDICULOUS. And now Ryan is saying shes lost a bit of weight...and now she's talking about her training. Typical. She's going to end up skinny like everyone else. Boo. My friend just reminded me that that the Editor-at-Large at Vogue (Anna Wintour's sidekick Andre Leon Talley styled her. That man's career should be over.

This is him:

If you see him boo him. What he did to that poor girl should never be forgotten.


0009 GMT: Steve Carrell is funny. Ryan is an idiot. Mrs. Steve Carrell needs to pull up her strap...I don't care if its meant to look like that.

0010 GMT: Leonardo Di Caprio. Used to hate him. He's kind of grown on me. Maybe its because the way he talks reminds me of a friend of mine. Ryan is such an idiot asking him what he will say if he wins, nobody is dumb enough to make their acceptance speech on the red carpet. Come on.

0012 GMT: Thats right Ryan. Humiliate Oscar nominated actor Djimon Hounsou by playing back embarrassing footage of him in music videos for Paula Abdul and Janet Jackson. I'm sure thats what he wants people to remember him for. Not the oscar nominations or anything.

0014 GMT: Ok. Jackie Earle Haley. I know hes an actor but I really can't get the creepy paedophile character he played in Little Children out of my head. I hope it doesn't affect him too much in his daily life! He was amazing in the movie though...actually maybe its the purple tinted glasses that are creeping me out. Those things should be OUTLAWED.

0015 GMT: Helen Mirren just got handed a Union Jack from Fearne Cotton. I love it! Ryan is showing Giuliana his boxers and Helen Mirren is behind him waving her Union Jack. Ryan is so ill informed. He really doesn't have a clue about anything.

0018 GMT: OMG, Celine Dion looks incredible in green! Seriously, this might even make up for that heinous backwards tuxedo thing.

0023 GMT: Cate Blanchett is STUNNING. She is my hero. I don't even like the dress but she is just too gorgeous.


0025 GMT: Aw, Kirsten Dunst is human...she is with her brother and she's fixing his tie and stuff. Really cute. Not sure about her look though.

0026 GMT: Ok. I'm sure. I don't like it.

0027 GMT: Anne Hathaway looks old or something. Shes also such a gusher. "Everything is so wonderful. I love everyone. Life is beautiful. How many big words can I fit into this sentence?"

0028 GMT: Beyonce in mint green, looking beautiful. I hate to admit it. Its really simple. And I'm delighted that she didn't do big hair.


0030 GMT: Best dressed so far: Penelope Cruz. Worst dressed: Kirsten Dunst

0030 GMT: I love that Alan Arkin doesn't take any shit from Ryan. He has no interest in any of Ryan's crap.

0031 GMT: Forrest is so lovely and smily. I love him. His bird looks super hot.

0032 GMT: Have I mentioned that I love Forrest Whitaker?

0034 GMT: Hmm. Gwyneth. I'm not a fan. I like her hair, long and straight and simple. I like the colour of her dress but the neckline is too high. I don't like Gwyneth she just seems so ice cold to me for some reason. How many times can Ryan say Apple? Ok Ryan, we get that you know her name.


0037 GMT: Nicole Kidman and Naomi Watts are together. Wonderful. Y'all know how much I love celebrity friendships...Nicole's dress looks like a nod to Charlize's dress from last year (which I loved).

0039 GMT: Kate Winslet, 5 times nominated never the bride, is also in mint green. I like it. I think she could have done with a slightly darker fake bake.

0045 GMT: No wonder Eddie Murphy dumped scary spice. His new bird is hot!

0046 GMT: I love Kate Winslet, she just said she's "a girl from a small town who was told she'd only ever get the part of the fat girl". Aw. Ryan is such an idiot, he just mispronounced Ricky Gervais' name and then pretended he was like, on close terms or something - "Only ricky could get away with that...". Dick.

0048 GMT: The Latifah looks good, I like her new fairer hair. OOH! Reese looks great! Amazing hair. Love the fringe. Ooh and the dress.

0049 GMT: Aw...Abigail Breslin is supercute. Little bit too much makeup for such a chiddler though.

0049 GMT: I love the Streeper - I love that she just responded to Ryan saying "14 nominations" by saying "Yes and I'm a size 14 so it all matches." She doesn't look great but she is always amazing.

0056 GMT: Nicole Kidman looks beautiful. Hooray. I miss her. Ooh, awkward when Ryan asked where Keith Urban was...

0059 GMT: And its SHOWTIME! Hooray. You know I'll be back tomorrow with all the news. Can't wait!