New look for summer: Baggy bikini bottoms.

Ew.

These picture of Nicole Richie is even grosser than usual. NOTE TO NICOLE: Bikini bottoms are not supposed to be baggy! Its disgusting! And complaining to Us Weekly that a pap told you to gain some weight "You don't scream at people that they are overweight, so what makes people think that they have the right to scream at me that I am underweight? only pisses me off further! Anyone who has ever lived as an overweight person can tell you that people frequently shout "overweight" remarks. Get into the real world Nicole.

Johnny Depp??? IN A MUSICAL?????????

Oh happy day! The beautiful one is teaming up with Tim Burton again to star in a Hollywood production of Sweeney Todd, the Steven Sondheim musical.

I tell ya, I am absolutely delira about this. I've always been a lover of musicals, and every since Evita have been a lover of musical movies (although Phantom did serious damage to their stock with me. Jaysis that film was tiresome). And like every other red blooded woman in existance (and lots of red blooded men too!)I am quite a fan of Johnny Depp too. Its a killer combination! Whoop dee doo!!!

In happier Blink 182 news...

Tom DeLonge and his wife have ahd a baby boy. Yay! I am desperately in some need of good news after the tragic case of Travis and Shanna.

Although...I've always wondered what the sceal was with Travis, Mark and Tom. Why was Tom only rarely in Meet the Barkers? It was so obvious that Mark and Travis were the closer of the three. Strange considering Mark and Tom are founding members of the band. Am I the only person who's interested in this? Probably.... Anway, this picture of him and his older daughter Ava is the cutest.

Travis vs. Shanna...again.

I don't think I've ever felt this way before...that I am actually getting too much information about a celebrity's relationship, but somehow all the seedy details are just making me uncomfortable. Anyway, for the sake of keeping this updated, Travis has spoken to People.com, you can find the interview here.

Apparently he's still "absolutely in love" with Shanna. And he thinks there is an MTV curse!

PEOPLE: Do you think there's an MTV curse? You and Shanna, Dave Navarro and Carmen Electra, Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson have all split after having reality shows about your marriages.
BARKER: I do. I think putting your relationship out there for people to interpret and have their own opinion about, I think it's crazy. Ours was different 'cause it showed a young couple who could still get down and reach for their goals and dreams. But I still feel like it puts a lot of stress on the relationship.

I just wish this all had never happened.

Alert! Alert! Terrifying new Beyonce video!

Ok, maybe its not so much the video as the song-I was too scared by the introduction to watch the whole thing. Maybe you'll fare better. You can find it here:

http://popsugar.com/21049?sidcheck=1&idcheck=1

Badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger BADGER!!!!

She's baaaaack! With her own TV show! Sky have announced the the Badger is set to be an adviser on new programme The Big Idea - a search to find the best new business concept or invention. Kind of Dragon's Den meets the Apprentice, from what I can gather.

This is wonderful news!

The war is hotting up.

What follows are excerpts from a rant on Travis Barker's myspace page. Its possible that it is all a ruse, but since it has come to peoples attention the rant has disappeared but the rest of the page remains intact, so you can gather from it what you will...I hope its all fake because otherwise its really sad.


"WHAT IT IS 4 THE RECORD...

- What's happnin'...gotta say this is wierd for me. I've never blogged or left a journal, or had my own website for EVERYBODY to read. I've always expressed my self thru my music/drums.

- I've never had anybody flat out lie about me or say things so FOUL in the press either so there is a first for everything.

- It's important to me what my fans think.

- We stand up for ourselves...when someone pushes you/us, NO MATTER HOW BIG we stand up and push right back before we let them have it....right?

- Well im here to set the record straight about my divorce for anybody wondering Here i will give you a walk in my life with Shanna Moakler.

- It starts around 5:30.(SHANNA SLEEPING) i wake up and get my babies....we play wit dinosaurs, numbers, we change dirty dipers, it's the best.

- Around 7am our oldest gets up(SHANNA SLEEPING). She gets ready for school and i make her "coffee milk" and a bagel. the other babies are knee deep in eggies and applesauce.

- SHANNA DOESN'T EVEN TAKE HER DAUGHTER TO SCHOOL, her ASSISTANT DOES.

- At 8am our nanny comes in, she is the best, at 9am we go on a walk, me and my son...we find pine cone tree's. At 10am i go to breakfast meeting.

- At 11am (SHANNA SLEEPING) i return from breakfast and kiss the babies goodbye, it's time to drive to [work].

- I get back from [work] round' 2pm and i head over to my studio. (SHANNA IS JUST NOW GETTING UP:) SHANNA GOES TO GET NAILS DONE WIT HER ASSISTANT.

- During the hours from2pm-5pm im @ my $tudio working on the 44 record(my new band) in studio A and in B i produce trax for TOO- SHORT,B-REAL, PAUL WALL, TI, SKINHEAD ROB...it's my passion, music is everything to me.

- Round 6pm i have dinner wit the babies and my nanny, (SHANNA IS M.I.A. NOTE TO SELF....SHE IS NOT AT WORK..SHE WORKED 6 TIMES IN THE LAST 4 YEARS, ROUND 8PM I USUALLY RECIEVE A TEXT SAYING SHE'S GOING OUT TO DINNER)

- I'm now going to play an X-GAMES party for DC SHOES wit my boy DJAM. By the way....we are working/performing. It's now 11pm, we are going on....we kill it, we have so much fun. (WHO KNOWS WHERE MY WIFE IS AT THIS POINT, CAN U TAKE ANY GUESS')

- Around 1am i get home....NO SHANNA, JUST THE SMELL OF PERFUME LIKE GNARLY. MY NANNY IS STILL AT THE HOUSE...(THIS NANNY IS ALSO TO REFERRED TO AS MOMMY at times:(). I SHOWER AND GET INTO BED, ROUND 3:30 AM MY WIFE GETS IN, DRUNK, LOUD CURSING CAUSE SHE HATES MY FRIENDS, HATES MY BANDS, MY WORK,HATES ME .... I GO TO BED AND REPEAT THIS EVERYDAY....

- MY BREKING POINT............

- That brings me to week ago, I CAME ACROSS CONDOMS(WE DONT USE CONDOMS EVER) I WAS INFORMED BY OUR REALITOR SHANNA WAS DOING DANCING WIT THE STARS?(why wouldn't she tell me right? A MYSPACE ACCOUNT?(WHERE SHE POSTS PIX OF OUR CHILDREN AND HER AND I HALF NAKED???????WIERD??? A MYSPACE AFFAIR WIT SOME guy(DORK) AND RUMORS OF HER CHEATING.

- IMM'A LAY IT OUT... I LOST MY MOTHER TO CANCER AT 16, IT BROKE MY FUCKING HEART. MY PARENTS WERE IN THE PROCESS OF GETTING DIVORCED WHEN THIS HAPPENED. WITH THAT BEING SAID.....I WANT NOTHING BUT THE BEST FOR MY CHILDEREN. I WANT THE BEST MOMMY EVER FOR THEM....I TRIED, I WENT TO THERAPY WIT SHANNA.

- I LOVE SHANNA VERY MUCH, SO MUCH I HAD TO LEAVE CAUSE I'M NOT THE TYPE OF PERSON TO STAY IN A SITUATION THATS UNFAIR AND UNFIT TO BUILD A FAMILY.

- I NEVER WANTED THIS....NEVER. MY HEART IS BROKEN AND A DREAM OF MINE IS GONE.

- I'M NOT SURE WHAT TOMMORROW HOLDS, YOU NEVER DO....STAY UP-I LOVE U GUYS.
Tr@vi$

SORRY FOR THE MIS-SPELLING/ TYPE ERRORS"

NOW its interesting!!

Oooooooooh!!

Papa Joe is worse than the Devil!

The stories about Joe Simpson's unpopularity just keep comin'.

Last week during an interview on an Australian radio station, Nick Lachey was asked if he'd "rather be trapped on a desert island with Joe or Satan, Prince of Darkness."

He hesitated, then replied, "I might take my chances with Satan, Prince of Darkness."

The fact that he hesitated, then still chose Satan really demonstrates the lack of love between him and Papa Joe. Anyone remember the episode of Newlyweds where Nick and Joe spent the day together 4-wheeling and golfing? Not only was it incredibly boring, but it totally showed the awkwardness between the two men.

I guess in that respect Nick had a lucky escape!

Poor little Mischa.

Apparently Mischa Barton wasn't popular in school.

According to the Evening Herald this evening:

"I wasn't part of the popular clique, I was on the outside of it and it was the time when I was the most self-concious. I never had braces or a perm but I was extremely self-concious between the ages of ten and fifteen."

I don't know about you, but my heart bleeds for her.

Thank God she didn't have "braces or a perm" (a fate worse than death), because then things might have been even tougher on the little cherub.

The Star "exposes" Big Brother Actresses! Shock!!

Yesterday the Star "revealed" that Aisleyne is an actress! Gasp! And today they expose Nikki as another actress! No!

Nikki has such experience as working as an extra in Eastenders and Aisleyne has really made it big-appearing as a clubber in some English film no one has every heard of.

Do the Star really think that anyone cares about this? Do they think that a bit part each makes them moles in the house? Do they think that people who go on Big Brother (i.e. people desperate for fame) wouldnt have tried to make it as a celeb in any other fashion?

There are very few things that irritate me more than tabloids trying to create a furore out of something this trivial. Next theyll be telling us Richard once went to a gay club! And Aisleyne has gotten her baps out on occasion!! Shock horror!

By The Way...Celeb spotting in London.

My Madonna weekend in London was hilarious in terms of celeb spotting. My companion Ephram was HELL BENT on spotting some creatures of fame, and was delighted to see "some guy from Ballykissangel" and an "irish actress" on our flight. He claimed they were our first and second celeb spottings - I begged to differ. As far as I'm concerned, if you don't know their names, they ain't no celebrity.

Throughout day one of the trip Eph hallucinated celeb after celeb like someone dying of thirst seeing oasis mirages in the desert.

Then, just as its starting to get annoying on day 2 of our trip we're wildly dashing through "Theatreland" to get to a matinee performance of Les Mis when the traffic mayhem means we have to wait to cross the road. As we're standing there, Ephram stamps his foot and exclaims very loudly, "Dammit, I wanna see some celebrities!!!!" I begin to lecture him on how we're in the wrong area to see celebs and if he's really that desperate we'll need to go to Bond Street etc, when he mutters "Look behind me." I look.

Its feckin Christian Slater.

We laughed our asses off and fell across the road. There is no possible way he couldn't have heard us, he was practically touching Eph. I'm surprised he didn't tap E on the shoulder and say "eh, do I not count???". He probably went home and cried to whoever it is he lived with... "My career is over...I don't even count anymore!!!!"

Hilarious.

Aside from other passionate claims by Ephram to have seen "yer man off the telly-you know the one I mean. You know him!" (One of these by the way, was some sort of campaigner he had seen on the news once. COME ON MAN. Have some standards for what quantifies a celeb), there were no sightings until we were queuing in Heathrow where we were alongside gardener Diarmuid Gavin (who in comparison to the "campaigner off the news" seemed like the king of celebrity). All very exciting.

Gratuitous Rachel Weisz pictures.

Here is a random picture of Rachel Weisz filming her new film, "My Blueberry Nights":

picture error

I really only posted this because I wanted to point out my delight at the fact that her career is going up and up and up while bitchface ho-bag Kate Beckinsale has acheived nothing but a mediocre Adam Sandler movie. HA!

iHas iThe iWorld iGone iMad?????

Can you say iRidiculous????

Oh Puhlease. Another wannabe lesbian.

Eva Longoria has talked about her desire to have a lesbian experience.

Pshaw. Bah! Puh. Ich. And other disgusted and unimpressed noises.

She is so CHEAP!!!! It seems like everytime a woman wants a bit of attention they talk about an apparent lesbian experience in their past, or their desire to have a lesbian experience in the future. She knows what she's doing, she wants attention and she wants to propegate her sexpot image. I hate hate HATE when women do this. HATE IT!

Contactmusic.com has this quote:

"I wish I had a full-on gay experience because I think women are beautiful creatures. They're much more attractive naked than men and it sounds like fun. Maybe I'm just holding out for the future."

Also whats with all this flaunting around the place with Jessica Simpson??? Em, deserate for publicity are we? I don't buy their friendship one little bit.

WHY GOD WHY??????

Not only do I have to come to terms with one of my fave celeb couples divorcing, but I have to hear all the dirty details as well? Please folks, keep it clean. Think of the children. And by the children I mean me...

Page 6 reports:

August 14, 2006 -- NO surprise last week when blink-182 drummer Travis Barker filed for divorce from his wife, former Miss USA Shanna Moakler. The couple, who star on MTV's "Meet the Barkers," have fought in public for months. One friend of Travis says he finally ended the marriage because "Shanna is never home . . . She parties every night, sleeps until 1 p.m. every day, and doesn't spend nearly enough time with the kids. And on top of that there have been rumors she hasn't been faithful. He's had it." Barker, via a rep, said, "I'm sad to say those allegations are true . . . My priority will remain my children." The couple have two kids together. But Moakler, via her rep, said: "I have been 100 percent faithful in my marriage and a devoted mother, two facts of which Travis is well aware. I still happen to be very much in love with Travis, and his using the media to take low blows at me isn't just embarrassing, it's hurtful. I feel he should be putting his family first instead of his pride." To which Barker responded, "The truth will prevail."

Holy Jeebus, Linds. Put 'em away!

Jeesh. I don't need to see that much knocker of an evening.

Can they possibly be serious????

Do Five Star Vintage Clothing really think that we will be more likely to buy their clothes if K-Fed is wearing them? Come on people! Thats like inviting Dustin Diamond to advertise a dating agency. Jaysis. What is the world coming to?

Dillon is a dick.

Matt Dillon is a dick. I've always sensed this somehow, but now a Page Six report has confirmed it. Huzzah.

MATT Dillon was no friend to his fans at the New York screening of "Factotum." The event was part of the "Young Friends of Film" series at Lincoln Center where guests paid $60 for the screening and a cocktail reception at which they had a chance to meet the homegrown star. One attendee approached Dillon and said, "I really liked the movie." Dillon grunted, "Yeah," and turned and walked away, said a witness - "He didn't even say 'thank you.' " Dillon beat it after signing just one autograph and posing for a few photos - odd behavior for a promotional event.

My goodness this magazine cover is misleading.

In fact I would so far as to say that readers should sue the magazine's asses for misrepresentation of the truth or somesuch nonsense. Heaven forbid some unsuspecting young man should begin stalking Ivanka only to die of shock after finding out what she really looks like.