Wowza.

Believe it or not, thats a man. And not just any man, but Sienna Miller's boyfriend Jamie Burke pictured in NYC last night. That is just NOT a good look.

Oh for God's sake.

Apparently Paris is "distraught and traumatised" by her prison sentence.

According to people.com:

Paris Hilton's psychiatrist declared that the heiress is "distraught and traumatized" and "fears incarceration" after a judge sentenced her to 45 days in jail.

Dr. Charles Sophy gave those findings in a Los Angeles Superior Court document filed Monday in an ongoing $10 million slander and libel suit against Hilton by actress Zeta Graff.

Hilton is facing an order to testify in the civil trial beginning May 21, but the psychiatrist argues that "given (Hilton's) current psychological, and emotional state ... (she's) not capable of any meaningful participation in a trial."

Em. Shocker! Did she expect to be happy? What did she think would happen? When you break the law you pay the price byotch.

Free stuff. Not fair.

So, Lindsay is back from the Bahamas after her super long makeout session with Calum Best. Apparently he is "a nice guy". I really doubt if this is anything more than a friends with benefits scenario, but I don't really have a problem with it either way. The reason I'm even posting about it is that when she came back she visited the Lucky magazine suite where there was just arseloads of free stuff for her to skive off with. According to People.com she walked away with:

"...seven bags of swag, including shorts and hoodies from L.A.M.B., a straw hat from Milk Boutique, a pair of Cosabella pushup bras and, according to a source, about $8,000 worth of pieces from Lia Sophia's Rue Royal jewelry line.

She also snagged $2,000 worth of sunglasses from Luxottica, including red and white pairs of Wayfarers not yet available in stores. Said Lohan of her visit to the gift suite: "I cleaned it out. I got some really cool Ray-Bans, too."

So unfair. I really think its unjust that celebrities get so much free stuff when they could buy it all on their own. I could really do with 7 bags of swag! Although I would have said no to the Wayfarers as we all know how much I hate their asses. Free stuff for me please!

Poor America!

Eep. Those are some hella bad sweat patches. They make me grimace. I'm so glad there aren't any paparazzi around to photograph me or I would grimace all day every day.

Ah ha ha ha ha....

Another open letter! This time its even more fabulous.

There was a rumour going around that Patty Hearst was giving Paris Hilton advice about going into jail - a rumour Patty obviously wasn't very impressed with because she wrote this open letter to TMZ:

Dear TMZ,

Imagine my surprise upon learning of the "advice" I had been giving Paris Hilton. In spite of reports to the contrary, I can assure you that I have not had any contact with Paris (or any member of her family) regarding her upcoming jail time, or any other matter. Like Governor Schwarzenegger, I have had many more important things to think about.

However, since I'm thinking about it now, I must say that my heart goes out to the inmates of the Century Regional Detention Center. Forty-five days with Paris Hilton and the attendant publicity seems like cruel and unusual punishment to me. Perhaps THEY should be petitioning the Governor for relief?

OK, that wasn't nice. But seriously, if Paris really wants my advice it's this: Read Candy Spelling's letter several times and take her advice to heart.

--Patricia Hearst


Hee hee...that Paris really hasn't made herself any friends recently has she?

Lindsay Hearts Callum

Hmm...Britains Biggest Manwhore is back to spending time with Little Lindsay Lohan...interesting. Didn't he like, make out that she was desperate for his body before but he wasn't interested? Hmm...I'll have to do some historical research. Well, one way or the other, they are frolicking in the Bahamas flashing nipples here and nipples there like there is no tomorrow.



Hmm...Britains Biggest Manwhore is back to spending time with Little Lindsay Lohan...interesting. Didn't he like, make out that she was desperate for his body before but he wasn't interested? Hmm...I'll have to do some historical research. Well, one way or the other, they are frolicking in the Bahamas flashing nipples here and nipples there like there is no tomorrow. I have to say, I don't hate this couple. He is definitely hot and as long as he isn't using her to up his profile I'm cool with it.

Speaking of random couples in terms of batting out of your fame league, I missed that Nicole Scherzinger from the Pussycat Dolls is now with Talan from Laguna Beach!!! What the hell?? That kid had NO game on that show. Hmm. He must be doing something right now because that girl is hot hot hot! She is almost 29 though...isn't Talan a little young for her? Puzzling.

Open letters.

I find them amusing. What is it that makes someone think its a good idea to write an open letter to a celebrity through a celebrity gossip publication? Well, its something because now Candy Spellman has jumped on the bandwagon and written a letter to....drumroll...Paris Hilton!!! How amusing.

The letter to TMZ basically tells Paris that she is spoiled and obnoxious. Hm...maybe this Spellman woman has more sense than I'd previously assumed. (Although I will never be able to take anyone known as "Candy" seriously).

Read this celebrity gold!

Dear Paris,

As someone who has known you for most of your life, I pay special attention to your press coverage. (Apparently, I'm not alone, based on the responses every word about you creates on TMZ.com and elsewhere.)

Paris, I'm very worried about you. The last week has not only been an obvious roller-coaster for you emotionally, but your strategy went from blaming employees and stating silly excuses like, "I don't read," to your new lawyer's tactic to have you sound mature and take some responsibility. In between, the paparazzi continue to follow you shopping and taking self-defense classes (to protect yourself in jail?), and some over-zealous friends staged embarrassing protests (three people?), and wasted taxpayer funds with a petition to pardon you.

People who are rich and famous are not treated like "regular" people, even though you claim to now be just like everyone else. In most situations, your privileged life works to your benefit. You have opportunities, access and resources like few others; and frankly, you can get away with more bad behavior and excuses than most people could even imagine. However, as the real possibility of jail approaches -- whether it's 21 days or 45 or whatever the latest report is -- it's time to get real. It's time to find "a Paris" somewhere between "heiress" and a character on "The Simple Life." I know she's there, and I know she can be a good citizen and maturely face consequences other people would have to face under the same circumstances.

I am sorry you have been sentenced to jail. I can't think of too much that would be worse. But since you let this happen, use the next couple of weeks preparing not only by publicly learning to fight (not a good message to fellow inmates), but by looking around, realizing that you are not as truly entitled as your money implies. You are a young woman who can add more to her community than establishing new definitions for infamy.

Best,

Candy Spelling

I fell at the first hurdle...

Well. I know. I didn't post yesterday. To be honest it was a bit of a manic day in the Louise house as my little sister was making her First Holy Communion (which shall henceforth be known as FHC) and I can not tell you the untold amounts of stress this creates in an Irish household. First, theres the dress. Now this was relatively simple as it was the same dress my middle sister wore. There's the hair - which always falls to me. Then theres what to do for the day? Do you call everyone you've ever met so that they can all come over to your house and shower the child with cash (thats what its all about you know...)? Or do you just just whip the child off to McDonalds and tell them they're lucky to get anything at all, children in the third world etc. etc.? Well, in our case the aforementioned kitchen hell prevented us from having a shindig (a lucky escape as far as I'm concerned) so we went to a hotel. We went to a hotel 10 minutes from our house. In a hellhole. It was wonderful I assure you. We went bowling. We swam. We played charades. We walked for an hour in search of a half-decent restaurant and ended up at McDonalds. I was reaquainted with everything my brother used to do when we were small that meant we always killed each other. Oh it was a rockin' good time. Anywho - I'm back, so on with the showbiz!!

Best. Picture. Ever.

La la la la la la laaaaaaa!

Wow. I'm kind of feeling these posts where I just babble about myself. Hmmm...isn't that where blogs originated? Perhaps I should just ponder things like, why drinking water that you get out of any sink thats not in your kitchen is just wrong...like, why the water from the bathroom sink is ok for brushing your teeth but NEVER for drinking. Ew...dirty disgusting toilet water. It makes me shudder. However, we are getting a new kitchen which leaves me in quite the dilemma in that respect. After this weekend we will not have water in the kitchen for a couple of weeks. What to do?? Should I just suspend my disgust and get on with things, toilet water or no toilet water? Answers on a postcard please.

ANYWAY, to reel myself back in from that tangent! Last night was wonderful, and I can babble about it a little bit under the guise of the fact that I saw Liberty X perform last night in The George. And - they were brilliant! I have to say it was so much fun. I didn't realise they had so many good songs and the atmosphere in there was great. An excellent evening altogether. And by the way, Kevin from Liberty X is hot. Never saw it til he did the Games...but it is true. End of.

What. The hell.

Seriously. Come on.

Lovely lovely (hopefully loyal) readers....

Hello to any of you who are still left, and apologies. I know that things have been nonexistant at my end for some time now, and I truly apologise. However, to those of you who implied I was being LAZY(!!!) (and you know who you are), you were wrong!

Things have been hectic on my end. The new job I mentioned in an earlier post took up massive amounts of time, and for the first time in my life, I actually didn't know everything that was going on in celebland! I know...shocking. However, I am going to do my damndest to ensure that I post at least once a day from now on. Even if its just to let you know I'm alive! Hopefully, I will be able to get back to the previous quality but if not, please be patient. Unfortch this doesn't make me any cash, but my job does...so it takes priority. Soon, I may even be able to tell you what my new job is! Isn't that exciting??? (Feel free to ooh and ah at any time).

Since we last spoke...Britney performed, I fell in love with Calvin Harris and Acceptable in the 80s (and apparently Kylie did too), I contemplated going Nu Rave with my look, and I drunkenly and soberly fell in public at least 5 times. And to think, you missed it all! Anyway, leave me a comment to let me know if you've missed me...and if there are none...well...I'll be sad...but I'll understand. :(